Comic Quote Blog

  Michael Mcintyre (Macintyre)
Michael Mcintyre (which is often mis-spelt as Michael Mcintyre) is BIG in the UK right now. The reason for his staggering rise in popularity is simple. He is incredibly funny. I am a thirty something Brit with kids so ALL his jokes really hit home. Enjoy some of his excellent work below:

“My wife and I both made a list of 5 people we could sleep with…she read hers out and there were no surprises…1 George Clooney…2 Brad Pitt etc…I thought ‘Ive got the better deal here’…1 Your sister”

“I’ve got a little baby, I made him…He doesn’t speak, he’s 2…He’s a slow learner, he’s only got 2 words…car and map…I’m slightly worried he’s trying to escape. If his next word is passport we are in serious trouble!”

“Normally you have news, weather and travel…..but not on snow day, on snow day news is weather is travel.” Talking about the heavy snow in Britain.

“They had to ask spain I think, they’ve had to say to Spain, can you lend us some stuff for the roads, and it’s Gordon Brown phoning up going ‘pass the salt’ (says in deep voice)”

“So you’re mother? Nice to put a name to a face.” Talking about when a baby girl is born

“I’m glad Carol Vorderman has left Countdown, I mean it’s not like she did much. She was effectively just an autistic shelf-stacker.”

“You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote ‘I still love you, see last years card for full details’” Talking about Valentines Day

Live at the Apollo Part 1



Live at the Apollo Part 2



Live at the Apollo Part 3

Labels:

 
For More JOKES and FUNNY Stuff visit my previous posts and archive links on the right hand side of this page.

Google Video of the Day

Courtesy of Video.KiTT.NeT


Description
A collection of the best and most witty offerings from the comedy world. Only the funniest live here...

Brought to You in League With...

UKRifter Virtual Reality
UKRifter Virtual Reality News from the world of Oculus,
HTC Vive, Razer HDK & Playstation VR. Subscribe today!



Previous Posts
Michael Mcintyre (Macintyre)
Al Murray - The Pub Landlord
Jimmy Carr
Stephen Fry
Bill Bailey
Tim Vine
Eddie Izzard
Spike Milligan
Peter Kay
Harry Hill

Archives
January 2006 / August 2006 / November 2006 / July 2008 / August 2009 /

Twitter Facebook
MySpace Digg
Hit a button to share with your friends

Powered by Blogger